I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
