If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
