I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
