Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
