I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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