but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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