You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
