I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
