I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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