When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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