You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
