Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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