Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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