What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
