Rock
Scissors
Fuck
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
