ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
