I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
