lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
