He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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