My cat gives me a boner
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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