Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
