DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
