im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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