Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
