I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
