If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The air taste purple.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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