If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so explain again why im purple
no
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
