Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you will always have a special place in my vag
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
