real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love black thongs
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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