Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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