uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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