If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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