Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he shaved USA in his pubs
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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