As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We got so high we made milksteak
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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