i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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