i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
