I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
