i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
