Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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