he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
