I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
