is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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