I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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