And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Found the puke drawer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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