I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
