and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
