My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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