So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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