I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is the high leading the old right now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
