We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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