The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
