I wannas sexs uuuuu
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's shark week go big or go home
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
