you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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